A Most Unusual Day of Shopping
by serenelystrange
Summary: This was a prompt from the lovely Rhiannon, otherwise known as Medie Shanchie. She said “Sophie and choice of victim – shopping.” And somehow, this happened, lol. I hope you like it, Rhi. And hope anyone else who reads it likes it too. Reviews are love.


A/N – So this was a prompt from the lovely Rhiannon, otherwise known as Shanachie_Quill and as Medie_Shanchie. She said "Sophie and your choice of victim – shopping." And somehow, this happened, lol. It was supposed to be short. Instead it got to be 9 pages and 3452 words. I hope you like it Rhi, and I hope anybody else who reads it likes it as well. I had fun writing it. Reviews are love.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sophie walked into the office kitchen to the sound of Parker giggling, which in her opinion, could only signal impending trouble, and quite possibly doom. The giggling, paired with the rarely seen serious expression on Hardison's face as he talked quietly to the thief, only served to fuel her dramatic thoughts. And when they both turned to her and froze with identical looks of surprise, she just knew they were up to something she would not like.

Sophie placed her hands on her hips and glared at the duo, "What are you two up to?" she demanded.

Hardison clamped his mouth shut and looked at Parker nervously. Parker just smiled at Sophie before responding. "Wanna come shopping with me?"

Flabbergasted could only begin to describe the shock Sophie felt at the question. Since when did Parker want to shop? Especially with her. But still, shopping was shopping, and they were ridiculously rich, so why should she question it? Dropping her arms gracefully back to her sides, Sophie smiled back at Parker.

"Sure, I'd love to."

Parker gave Hardison a glare that clearly said 'I told you so,' and Hardison shook his head slowly before walking from the kitchen, muttering about crazy blondes and shopaholics.

Sophie gestured to the door and Parker gave her another bright smile, which was actually a little disconcerting, if she was honest with herself. The thought of all the new shoes she would buy helped though, and she found herself smiling back, even though she knew she might live to regret her decision. Shopping with Parker, it could be great, or the world could end. Sophie supposed she would just have to wait and see. As they headed for the front door, it opened to reveal Eliot coming in, styrofoam cup in hand. He nodded his greeting at the women before noticing they were headed out together.

"Where y'all headed?"

Parker responded, slightly bouncing, "Shopping!"

Sophie swore that Eliot almost dropped his cup, but knew he'd never admit it.

"Shopping?" he questioned, turning the word into two distinctive syllables, "Together?"

Sophie nodded, "That's right."

With the look her gave her, Sophie could swear she'd grown an extra head. He paused to consider his words for a moment before responding, "Ok then. Well you have fun with that. I'm gonna go do something not so insane, like make Hardison play dummy to my knife throwing practice."

Parker just giggled that unnerving giggle again before grabbing Sophie's hand and pulling her out, leaving a bemused Eliot to stand alone. Sophie just barely heard Hardison's cry of 'ain't nobody throwing knives at me!' before the door clicked shut and they were on their way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sophie tried to settle comfortably in the passenger seat of Parker's car, telling herself that Parker was a smart and capable woman under all her fearlessness, and that she was a perfectly lovely driver. But the glint in Parker's eyes as she pressed on the gas pedal made Sophie clutch her seatbelt even tighter to her chest as they sped out into the street.

After the first five minutes found them surprisingly alive, Sophie did relax a little, cautiously placing her hands on her lap. She turned to Parker with a smile.

"You know, Parker. There's some lovely little boutiques just off the next exit. I think you would really like them," Sophie gave Parker her most earnest expression, but Parker knew better.

"No thanks," she snorted, not even bothering to look away from the road, "We're going to the mall."

Sophie wrinkled her nose in distaste, "The mall?" She shuddered at the thought of all those rowdy teenagers that seemed to live at the mall.

"Yep," Parker confirmed, bobbing her head along to nonexistent music, "I need to get some stuff."

Sophie very quickly decided she didn't want to know just what Parker needed to get, so she just nodded. The mall had to have at least one decent store, after all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ooh, yay, Target!" Parker called out as they entered the mall. Sophie didn't even have time to protest before she found herself following the blonde into chaos. She knew it would be worse to leave Parker on her own. As she caught up to Parker, Sophie suddenly remembered that she was with _Parker_ in a place where people generally tended to pay for things. Premonitions of mugshots and pudgy mall security flashed through her mind unwillingly, even though she knew Parker would never get caught. Then again, anything was possible.

She pulled Parker to the side of an aisle and whispered, "Parker. You do intend to actually pay for what you need here, right? Because, well, we're not on a job and we don't have the team, and honestly, stealing from Target is just… tacky."

Parker rolled her eyes, "Of course I'll pay. I don't steal everything. I can be normal, you know, sometimes."

Sophie didn't miss the sting of Parker's words, subtle as they were. "I didn't mean that, Parker. It's just, you know, we _are _thieves. I didn't mean to imply that…"

"It's fine. Come on, I gotta get some rope," Parker cut her off, rolling her eyes again. Sophie was such a _girl_ sometimes.

Parker grabbed a bright red carriage from the line and went on her way, Sophie trailing behind her, trying not to think about the crazy things Parker would do with even more rope, and at what heights she would do them at.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later, Sophie was bored. They were still in Target, finally and mercifully in the checkout line. Parker's carriage held the rope she had picked out, plus some lanyards, some heavy duty rope clips, a few pairs of black leather gloves, some black leggings, a bag of pretzels and two little stuffed animal kittens, whose paws had Velcro that attached to the other's shoulder in a sort of kitty hug. Sophie stared at the toys with a raised brow, but said nothing.

She watched in slight amusement as Parker greeted the cashier with a friendly smile, and made chit chat about the weather as her items were rung up. Her amusement turned to awe as she watched Parker pull out her wallet and hand the girl money without a second of hesitation. Who was this girl? And what had she done with the Parker that Sophie knew? Shaking the thoughts from her head, Sophie gave the cashier a small smile before following Parker out of the store.

Before she could say anything, Parker turned to her. "I'm gonna go put the bags in the car, why don't you get some coffee or something? I'll be right back."

"Ok," Sophie shrugged, as she spotted a Starbucks across the way. That would do nicely after the overbearing nature of Target. Parker walked off and Sophie made her way to Starbucks, breathing the smell of coffee and pastry in as she entered. Ordering a tea and just one cookie, Sophie sat at the furthest back booth she could find, reveling in the quiet and dim light. She was no more than three sips in before Parker was somehow sitting in front of her, drink in hand.

"How did you…" she began, but gave up, remembering this was Parker after all.

Parker just smirked before sipping her hot chocolate. When she was done, she regarded Sophie with a small smile, but it was still too much smirk to be trusted.

"Yes?" Sophie responded to Parker's unspoken words.

"I need some new boots," Parker said, still smiling that not quite smirk.

Sophie grew visibly excited, "Oh! Well that will be fun! There aren't any boutiques here, but I did see a DSW down the hall, I bet we could find something there."

"No," Parker shook her head, "We're gonna go to Payless."

"Payless?" Sophie repeated, aghast.

Parker cocked a brow, "You wanted to come. You can leave anytime you want. And I need to go to Payless."

Sophie was torn. She really didn't want to go to Payless, or any of the other stores Parker was sure to want to visit, but she also didn't want to hurt Parker's feelings.

Sighing internally, Sophie responded. "You're right. Payless it is."

She swore she saw a flash of _something_ in Parker's eyes, but it was gone as quickly as she noticed it. Instead the thief just smiled at her again and motioned to leave. Sophie quickly tossed her trash in the bin, wondering when Parker had disposed of hers, before following the girl out the door yet again. She was walking so fast that she nearly bumped into Parker, who had stopped in the middle of the hall. After she got her bearings back, Sophie stepped around Parker to see what had stopped the thief. She was surprised to find Parker talking to a young woman with a little bundle of baby in her arms. Sophie tuned back in as she heard Parker speak.

"Aww, she's adorable. How old is she?"

The woman smiled with pride as she answered, "Thank you. Allie here is just over a month now."

Parker ran a finger over the baby's tiny hand as she turned to look at Sophie, "Isn't she cute?"

Sophie was still shocked, but she didn't want to appear strange to the woman, so she snapped herself out of it as she regarded the baby. "She really is adorable," she told the mother, who smiled brightly at her. Sophie smoothed the sleeping baby's hair and couldn't help but smile as Allie wrinkled her little nose at the touch.

"Well, thanks again, but we need to get going," Allie's mother said as she tucked the baby safely into the sling across her chest.

"Of course," Sophie responded, giving the baby one last cooing noise. Parker said goodbye as well and waved the woman off as she walked away.

Sophie couldn't help it, she had to say something, "I didn't even know you liked babies."

Parker regarded her as if _she_ were the one acting strangely, "Who doesn't like babies?"

Sophie sighed. This was turning out to be a long day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A chime sounded as they entered Payless, alerting the salespeople to the presence of new potential customers. Sophie was immediately confronted by a boy no older than seventeen, who insisted that she try the newest summer sandals, and that she must know that everything in the store was buy one get one half off.

"It's not summer," Sophie responded, smiling at the boy in a way that would have greater men groveling at her feet. The boy was no exception. He flushed a deep red before abruptly turning and practically running towards the back of the store. Sophie heard a faint laugh she knew must have come from Parker, but the blonde was no longer beside her.

Sophie found her in one of the aisles, zipping up a pair of sleek but durable black knee length boots. Sophie wrinkled her nose.

"Why don't you try something with a bit of a heel?" she suggested, reaching for a pair of halfway decent high heeled boots with Victorian lacing.

Parker looked up from her feet with an amused smirk, "I can't run in heels like that, Sophie. Or rappel, or really do anything besides tease Hardison."

"Why would you tease.. oh, Lord," Sophie stopped as her brain was onslaught with images she did not need of Parker and Hardison and high heeled boots. Parker just grinned.

"Why don't you try something without a heel?" Parker asked, honestly curious.

Sophie shrugged, "Heels are part of who I am, Parker. I like them."

Parker thought silently for a moment, before responding with a serious tone, "You'd be just as sexy without heels, you know."

Sophie flushed, hating that Parker seemed to know exactly how she felt. But she had her pride. "Thank you," she managed, before sitting on one of the stools to wait for Parker to pick her boots.

One pair of durable boots, two belts, some striped socks, and another trip to the car later, Sophie found herself being pulled into a store called Spencer's. She took in the dark, black lit store with its cramped quarters and goth clothing and stopped in her tracks.

"Why are we here? Surely you can't actually like any of this stuff?" She was practically pleading.

Parker shrugged, "No, not really. But the strobe lights are fun to play with. Plus, it's called Spencer's!"

"So?" Sophie asked, confused and slightly dizzy at the overwhelming back lights and incense of the store.

Parker rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that day, "Spencer's. Like Eliot!"

Sophie couldn't help but laugh as she finally realized what Parker was saying. "Oh, I see. That is pretty funny."

"I wonder if he would get a discount," Parker said aloud, mostly to herself. Sophie just smiled.

Luckily for Sophie, Parker soon got bored of the strobe lights and headed for the exit, where Sophie had planted herself.

As they walked down the busy hallway, Sophie turned briefly to Parker to ask, "What in the world is Twilight? And why is it covering seventy five percent of that store?"

Parker laughed, "Twilight is… hard to explain. It's a book series, and a movie, and basically a crazy teenage phenomenon. And Spencer's is mostly a teenager store, so I guess it makes sense for them to have a lot of Twilight stuff."

"Oh," Sophie responded, not sure what else to say. She wondered idly about whatever happened to legitimate phenomena's, like the Beatles. She still didn't understand why Parker was acting so _normal_, but she was beginning to like it.

"What were you and Hardison giggling about this morning?" she demanded suddenly, putting a hand on Parker's arm to stop her walking. Annoyed shoppers moved around them, but she didn't care.

Parker shrugged, deciding to tell the truth, "We were betting on how long it would take you to crack if I brought you to the mall and didn't let you buy expensive pretty things. I said it would take under a half hour. Hardison said you'd last at least an hour. I guess he was right. It's been over three hours already."

"You did what!" Sophie exclaimed, anger seeping into her voice.

Parker looked startled, "Hey! We didn't mean anything by it. Just wanted you to see that shopping isn't always fun for the other person when you're only getting stuff for yourself."

Sophie actually teared up, "Do you think I'm that selfish?"

"No!" Parker looked around helplessly, wish Hardison were there to smooth things over in that magical way he had. "I don't think you're selfish. You just get so caught up in shopping that you forget we don't all like it as much as you. I didn't mean to make you cry."

Sophie wiped the tears from her eyes, refusing to let them fall. "I thought we were having fun today," is what she responded, realizing belatedly that spending the day with Parker had actually been fun. But it was all a lie.

"We are having fun, Sophie. I like hanging out with you. I'm sorry we made that stupid bet, really." Parker couldn't figure out what to do with her arms, she was suddenly hyper aware of them. Against her better judgment, Parker wrapped Sophie in a loose hug, patting her back awkwardly as she apologized again. Sophie stood frozen for a moment before hugging the girl back briefly before pulling away.

Sophie smiled softly, "It's alright. I think I overreacted a little bit. But honestly, all you had to do was tell me you hated shopping with me, you didn't need to do this."

"I don't hate shopping with you," Parker insisted, "I just hate shopping for only your stuff. And I hate when you try to dress me up like a Barbie doll."

"Oh," Sophie sounded surprised, "I just thought you might like some pretty clothes, that's all."

Parker laughed, "They are pretty, but they're just not my style."

Sophie nodded, "Well ok then. I think we've earned ourselves some chocolate."

"Why?" Parker looked at her with a confused expression.

Sophie sighed in amusement, "Why not? There's never a bad time for chocolate."

"Women," Parker said as she shook her head. Sophie just laughed and led Parker to the Lindt chocolate shop. Today was definitely a mint truffle day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, Sophie walked into the office to the sound of Hardison laughing in happiness from somewhere in the hall, she presumed his or Parker's office. "You owe me fifty bucks!" he told Parker. Sophie didn't hear Parker's response, but she knew the thief couldn't be happy with losing money on a bet she was sure she'd win. Laughing to herself, she wandered to Hardison's office, intent on teasing the hacker for betting with Parker to begin with. She stopped short as she saw Parker and Hardison curled intimately in his computer chair, kissing enthusiastically.

Sophie backed away silently, distantly registering the sound of keys in the front door. Reaching to grab the door to Hardison's office, she almost laughed aloud as she caught site of Parker's legs, draped over the armrests of the chair. As she clicked the door shut, she wondered when Parker had gone back to get those Victorian laced boots that now donned her feet. But that was a question for another time.

Nate entered the office just ahead of Eliot, who immediately set about making coffee, knowing none of the other's would have. Nate ventured towards his office, but Sophie stopped him.

"What is it?" he questioned, annoyed at being stopped from going to his own office.

Sophie tried her best to keep a straight face, "Parker and Hardison are in the middle of something. We should just wait out here."

She felt rather than heard Eliot's amused laugh, even as Nate stared blankly at her. "They having some sort of fight?"

Eliot laughed again, turning it quickly into a cough as he busied himself with getting mugs for the coffee.

"Something like that," Sophie agreed, still holding her straight face, "Let's just give them some time."

Nate shrugged, it was too early to argue, "Fine. But they've got thirty minutes before I go in there and drag them out here if I have to."

"Oh, I doubt it will take that long," Eliot commented dryly, face as straight as Sophie's. Sophie's sides hurt from holding in the laughter, but Nate just nodded and went to turn on the TV before settling on the couch to watch. Eliot and Sophie just shared an amused glance before going about their business.

Exactly thirty one minutes later, much to the chagrin of Eliot, Parker and Hardison walked into the common area, as if nothing was different and greeted their team members as usual. If Parker looked a little more flushed than usual, nobody noticed. And if Hardison was grinning even more than usual, nobody said a thing. And if Sophie noticed that Parker's boots were gone, and she did, well, mum was the word. The morning meeting went on like it always did and the team set off to prepare for the latest job.

Hardison stopped Sophie as she gathered her things on the way to her office, looking down but still grinning. "Thank you," he said, almost shyly.

"For what?" she questioned. He couldn't mean the boots. She knew Hardison would like Parker just as much without sexy boots.

"For going shopping with Parker," he responded, "I don't know what happened, but she came back in such a great mood, and well, you know the rest."

Sophie laughed, "Don't thank me. Parker liked you before we went shopping. I inadvertently gave her the boot idea, though."

Hardison looked positively gleeful, "Really? That's, that's awesome. The boots were nice, too."

Sophie closed her eyes as she cringed a little, "I really don't need to know that. I promise."

Hardison just laughed and headed towards the kitchen for a drink.

Sophie reached her office and sank into her chair, relaxing into it. After a moment, she noticed a square box on her desk, with a note card attached. Curiously, she looked at the box, smiling when she realized it was a chocolate sampler from the Lindt store. Picking up the note, she laughed softly as she read;

Sophie,

Thanks for shopping with me, even if it was all sort of a trick and I kind of hurt your feelings. I hope we can go shopping again. We can even go into those ridiculous stores you like and I'll let you buy me a whole outfit and everything. I'm really glad that we're friends. And those boots? Awesome idea.

Parker

THE END


End file.
